The Whitecaps Twitter feed has been making use of the hashtag #HouseOfCaps lately. Something just clicked when I read it the other day, and it got me thinking of this great party tune that came out a few years ago.
The video is great fun too... I mean, who *hasn't* been chased through a park in the middle of the night by angry businessmen wearing luchador masks? Well I suppose that if it's still on your bucket list, the best way to cross it off is with an overnight away trip to Portland. Stranger things have happened!
To the tune of "Tongue Tied" by Grouplove:
Take me to Vancouver's house Buy my ticket in the south Ohhhh yeah! Take me to Vancouver's house We loved them then, we love them now Ohhhh yeah! Don't take me north side! Don't take me west side! Whoooooaaa! South-side! (shouting: "1-2-3-4!")
One of the problems with getting up there in years is that the great songs I listened to in my youth are fading into obscurity. If you try talking to your average 20-something about bands like Joy Division or Ultravox, they always seem give you this baffled look that leaves you feeling as though you've just wandered away from an old folks home. That's really a shame, because the pop and new wave hits of the 1980s are an absolute treasure trove of fantastic football chant material.
Kevin Bacon knows my pain. Preach on, brother:
Anyway, here's one of the most recognizable electropop tunes ever to survive the Cold War nukes of Mother Russia. Surely you young whippersnappers have heard this one before?
To the tune of "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order (jump to 2:10 mark)
First part mimics the song's main keyboard riff. Second part matches up with the lyrics.
The Canucks have been the city's best supported sports team for decades. Unfortunately, this season has been a nightmare of controversy, futility and frustration. Last night they blew a 3-0 third period lead against the New York Islanders and lost 7-4.
Ouch.
Oh well, at least there's another team in town that knows how to take care of business....
Well, after a 10-month sabbatical to wrap my brain around my new role as father to my infant son (and future Canadian international, of course), I'm blowing the dust and cobwebs off the old keyboard and resurrecting the JMFC blog. There was a moment last week where I was feeding the kiddo in his high chair when I said to myself, "Damn it, Monster. There's only so much Dinosaur Train a grown man can handle before his mind wanders to dark places. Make yourself useful, FFS." So here we are.
The timing couldn't be better. Our beloved lads in Blue and White seem poised to move forward from the disappointments of last season, and the three ring circus of the pre-season. Last night was the 2014 Whitecaps home opener at BC Place, and what a night it was.
First, a fantastic tifo encompassing the entire south end to celebrate 40 years of Whitecaps memories. Huge credit goes to Brett Bird [ @brettness37 ] and his crew of budding artists and volunteers for pulling this one off without a hitch.
photo credit: @annanreid
To absolutely nobody's surprise, French superstar Thierry Henry declined the opportunity to join his New York Red Bulls teammates in Vancouver for the match. Again. That's four years running he's dodged the Whitecaps. He's been harder to find than Jonathan Leathers!
His reluctance presumably stems from concerns about sustaining injuries on Vancouver's horrible, horrible turf. That's somewhat understandable given that we had a HOCKEY RINK on top of it last week, but still! What a bastard! Either way, I wasn't going to let him off without a wee shot on Twitter:
As it stands, the best story of the night was Carl Robinson's impressive reboot of the Whitecaps.
Kenny Miller definitely had the crowd on its feet, starting with a PK from the spot in the first half, and a cheeky chip over top of the keeper in the second for the double. However it was our new South American midfielders that inspired me to get a few songs going in the Southside that seemed to catch on quite well.
First off, Seba Fernandez, our new midfielder / striker on loan from Uruguay. He was a dominant force on the wing, and launched a couple of eye-popping Howitzers at the NYRB goal. One of those found its way to the back netting, and damn near went through it. For this, I turned to a little Swedish disco pop.
To the tune of "Fernando" by ABBA (jump to the 1:25 mark):
He wears the blue and white He's gonna score all night Fernandez!
His fellow countryman, Nico Mezquida, came on as his replacement in the second half and was quick to show off some crafty ball control. No goals came for Nico this day, but he did get a great little tune.
Argentinian defensive mid Matias Laba put on an impressive display in partnership with Nigel Reo-Coker, but it was Chilean attacking mid Pedro Morales who left jaws on the floor with some fantastic ball distribution and a goal of his own. Laba and Morales are sure to earn songs of their own at some point in the future, but last night we celebrated all four of our new arrivals with a little classic rock.
To the tune of "It's Only Rock And Roll" by The Rolling Stones (jump to :48 seconds):
I-I-I-I-I know! It's only espanol But I like it! I-I-I-I-I know! It's only espanol But I like it! Like it! Yes I do!
Final score on the night was 4-1 to the good guys. There's still some rust to be shaken off in the squad, but that will come with time. I've got a good feeling about this year, so stick with me, folks - there's finally some fun and optimism on the horizon.
Cheers, @johnniemonster
Yesterday's post about the awful number of empty seats before kickoff absolutely resonated with Whitecaps fans who have been suckered into faithfully reading this blog since it started up last month. The post drew triple the typical traffic of my other posts, and for that I say thank you to all three of you. :p
In all seriousness, there's been some great discussion about Vancouver's chronic latecomers over at the Southsiders forum in the JMFC thread. If the situation bothers you as much as it bothers me, I encourage you to stop by for some perspective from other fans who share in your frustrations.
Since my previous post went live I received a great email from a fellow named Mark Dailey. He's a long time Whitecaps fan going back to the Swangard days, and he has only just very recently joined the Southsiders. I wanted to highlight Mark's impressions of the situation to illustrate the point that it's not just the ornery ol' season ticket holders and long-time Southsiders who feel there's something to grumble about here.
As you'll read below, Mark has only had the opportunity to attend the odd match here and there since the Whitecaps moved into MLS. As such, I think it's fair to say that the impression he's taking from these games would be comparable to a relative newcomer soaking up the BC Place "Latespotting" experience for the first few times.
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Hey Johnnie,
I read your blog a little earlier about the latecomers to the Caps matches. I've only been to two of the first three matches this year, but it [the empty seats] was something that I noticed as well on Saturday.
Now for one thing traffic getting into downtown was total shite for starters. We made the trek in from the suburban paradise otherwise known as Coquitlam and I was both shocked and frustrated that it took so long to get in. Add to that the line at the will-call ticket booth (which fortunately was very efficient) had me sweating that we might miss the opening kick-off for my son's first WFC match! We made it to our seats by the skin of our teeth and did not miss a single kick of the ball and I was very happy.
After we took our seats I took a look around and saw how many empty seats there were in the stadium. My first reaction was the it was going to totally suck balls and look totally bad on tv when I remembered that there was a mass of humanity lolling about on the concourse and outside the stadium. Once everyone took their seats attendance was pretty good, and although I didn't see the final figure I would estimate it to be around the 19.5k mark.
Want.
I can't honestly say why this happens here in Vancouver. I think people are lazy and spoiled and to a certain extent they think their doing the club a favour just by showing up. This is by no means a phenomena that is purely limited to the Caps, as I have seen it at Lions games as well. As for the Canucks I cannot honestly say since I have not been to a game in years.
It is quite bothersome to see and wish that people would get their acts together and show a little passion. We're a big club in a big league playing the most popular sport in the world. If people here don't realize that then they really need to wake up.
Do NOT want.
As for solutions, well mate I don't know I have any. I show up to as many matches as I can and I try to bring someone along with me who has never been before. This past weekend it was my four year old son, who although has been watching matches with me on TV, was a little reluctant to come and watch in person. Now that he's been he has instantly been hooked. I bought little WFC footballs for him and my daughter and for the rest of the weekend they were running around the house saying things like "Look at me I'm Camilo!" or "Pass it to Reo C!" That's pretty cool.
Other than that I wear the colours as often as possible. Soccer was never discussed at my office before I started working there and now we talk footy all the time. We'll talk about footy from far and wide, but it's mostly about the Whitecaps, which is cool. Perhaps I'm rambling, but I do agree that something needs to be done to pump it up like our Cascadian neighbours have. Hopefully things start to change sooner rather than later!
Keep up the good work. Enjoy reading the blog.
Cheers, Mark
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Mark followed his original email up with a few more details about his background, and the experiences that have shaped his viewpoints:
I've been going to the Lions for a long time, so I have always known what to expect at a game there, but when I came to my first WFC match last year I was instantly hooked. I'm a first generation Canadian who has had the good fortune to have been able to live both here and back 'home' (Holland) and have moved back and forth several times in my adult life.
When I went to my first match at BC Place I was shocked at how 'authentic' the atmosphere was and how there basically was no difference between the atmosphere between a match here and over there. So in a nutshell I guess you could say that I've become pretty hardcore over the past year. I'm not new to supporting our pro soccer teams here though since I used to be a regular at Swangard back in the early 90's (lots of good memories!). I'm also a new Southsider this season for what it's worth. I took in the TFC match from the Southside and it was brilliant! I had a great time!
I think a lot issues here in Vancouver are cultural ones. People aren't really that familiar with professional soccer here and I think that there is perhaps a perception that MLS is a second rate league and we'll never be mentioned in the same breathe as the bigger European leagues/clubs. There is also that frustrating attitude that you wrote about in your blog on how people always show up 15 minutes late (and also seem to leave 10 minutes early might I add).
I'm constantly working on my wife to get more interested in soccer. When we met it was 100% Canucks, and I successfully introduced her to the Lions and I'm hopeful she will soon become a Whitecaps supporter as well!
I guess what we can all do is just try and influence those who we come into contact with on a regular basis be that family, friends, co-workers, etc. I'm passionate about our club. This may sound a little strange to some, but I'm sure you'll understand where I'm coming from. I grew up supporting Manchester Unitedand have a whole pile of MUFC kits, but honestly nowadays when I throw on a kit or something else - it's not red and black. Those are collecting dust. The blue and white ones are getting worn out because they're getting used so much!
Cheers!
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"...and THIS is how you get to a fucking match on time!"
The Whitecaps are very lucky that there are fans out there like Mark who still see the massive potential for fun and excitement in spite of the thousands of so-called "fans" around him who can't be arsed to get themselves into the building on time.
This issue really makes me angry. It just seems so awfully disrespectful to the players. These guys - a lot of them young kids - are busting their asses to become elite athletes. Some day the Koffies and Teiberts of our team may be playing elsewhere, perhaps in Italy, France or Germany. They could make the big time under the international spotlight. When the press ask these guys about their humble beginnings in Vancouver, how is it going to reflect on us as a city and as a fanbase when they look in the cameras and say:
"Well.... it was okay, I guess. The fans were all right.... but it's much better here."
In my last post I mentioned how the poor optics of empty seats have the potential to damage the club's opportunities for landing and retaining corporate sponsors. Something I didn't even consider was the impact that this situation could have on the club's ability to draw the next Kenny Miller, Nigel Reo-Coker or Y.P. Lee from a more comfortable and lucrative career abroad to play Major League Soccer in Vancouver.
Make no mistake about it - atmosphere is a selling point for potential players as much as it is for ticket purchasers. No professional footballer wants to play in front of a stadium full of crickets chirping under seatcovers. This sport is their livelihood. If they're going to make the move across the pond, they want to go somewhere they are confident that football matters as much to the supporters as it does to them.
Vancouver and her Cascadia brethren can and should be within the top five picks for any players abroad considering a career in North America. But if the Whitecaps and the supporters who really, truly love and believe in the club can't fire up the reluctant and sluggish aspect of our fanbase, we're in for some real uphill struggles on many different fronts.
Bad stadium habits have a reputation for spreading like a cancer amongst the casuals, and once they set in, it's difficult to carve them out. Perhaps we supporters need to start a pre-match shame campaign? Something along the lines of "We can see you sneaking in?" Essentially the opposite of this:
What do you think can be done to get asses in seats before kickoff? Send your suggestions, thoughts, threats and bribes to johnniemonster@gmail.com
There is something very ugly creeping into BC Place on Whitecaps matchdays. No, it's not hooliganism or dirty language. No, it's not Tommy Soehn either.
What I'm talking about is empty seats. Or, more specifically, the THOUSANDS of seats that remain unoccupied right before kickoff and well into the first half.
We've all heard the jokes about how Vancouverites are laid back, way mellow and too cool for school. One could argue that Vancouverites will take their sweet time going anywhere unless the VPD riot squad is chasing them towards a Lululemon sale.
Make no mistake about it - when the TV cameras pan across a gulf of empty seats at the first whistle, it reflects very poorly on the club and creates a damaging perception for casual onlookers that a Whitecaps game is not nearly the major league pro sports event it claims to be. That's a terrible shame. I believe in this club and always will, but I really think it's time the front office took more aggressive steps to spread the gospel to their season ticket holders.
Here's a video I took mere seconds before the players took the field this past Saturday against RSL:
Talk about a buzz kill. There's more red and grey plastic visible before a Whitecaps kickoff than at a Toronto FC fan convention.
When your front office is competing for ad dollars against the Canucks, Lions and Giants, these are the sort of hideous visuals you need to nip in the bud, and pronto. The Whitecaps are trying to encourage season ticket holders to arrive earlier by rewarding them with Caps Card reward points for doing so. It's a nice idea, but this is approach is far too passive - and the rewards far too small - to accomplish any significant traction with the lumbering, cement-footed masses.
Fast forward to 15 minutes after kickoff. As you can see, many empty spots have filled since the first whistle, but even at a distance the still-unoccupied red seats stand out like a sore thumb across the stadium.
I'd be interested in hearing from all of you readers out there as to whether there is more to this problem than meets the eye. I'm always in the stadium well before kickoff, so I fully concede that I really have no idea if BC Place line-ups at entrances and concession stands have anything to do with this unfortunate phenomenon.
What do you think, folks? Is it laziness? Is it traffic? Is it a carry-over of behaviours that have been established at Canucks games? Please write me at johnniemonster@gmail.com to share your thoughts.
One thing is for certain - whatever Vancouver is doing wrong, Portland is doing very, very right. The Timbers have a season ticket waitlist of 7,000 and counting. Significant numbers of fans are known to line up outside Jeld-Wen on the night before matchday to ensure a good spot in the general admission areas.
This city's passion needs to be ignited, and it's going to take some leadership from the club and supporters alike to fan the flames. Portland's FO has taken great steps to create a sense of major league urgency. I really hope Vancouver's FO closely examines what our neighbours down south have done to see if there's any tricks in the bag worth repeating here.
The Monday morning earworm has bit me once again. I remember bopping along to the inspiration for this chant when I was a little kid stuck in a hospital bed at Surrey Memorial after having my tonsils removed. Mom taped it for me from good ol' LG73, and she managed to get the whole thing without the DJ talking over the end of it. It was right before Human League and right after Phil Collins.
I'm having a laugh right now because I know that most of our younger Whitecaps fans have never heard of LG73, Constable Bob or the Morning Zoo, and how much those things were a part of Vancouver's pop culture during the Expo era. Even fewer will have firsthand experience with the frustration of having a chatty radio DJ botch the end of their perfect radio mix tape.
Either way, this one sounds like a keeper to me. Perhaps it needs a bit of clapping somewhere in there?
To the tune of "Maneater" by Hall & Oates:
Whoa-oa here we come Watch out boys, we'll chew you up! Whoa-oa here we come We're Vancouver!
